Admit It. We have all tried to have a diary but failed epically

shakespeareintellectualbadass:

hopperthedragon:

hogwartskidsproblems:

sodamnrelatable:

So we made tumblrs.

#Not Voldemort 

yah he really put his soul into it

oh my god

brainbowunicorn:

sucha-retardis:

sucha-retardis:

what’s the best thing about living in switzerland

well the flag is a big plus

kat8brains:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

ayellowbirds:

razorsaw:

OH MY GOD

I LITERALLY JUST REALIZED

HE CALLS HIMSELF GREEN ARROW

AND HIS NAME IS OLIVER QUEEN

HOW DID I NOT REALIZE THIS BEFORE?!

Yeah, it’s one of those classically goofy superhero names. Also, his name very obviously contains the letters for “quiver”. 

I cannot believe I never got this before now O.O

…oh. my. god.

thepreciousthing:

potential-and-difference:

prop-215:

dazegetbrighter:

what if rocks are actually soft but just tense up when we touch them?

How stoned are you right now?

Was that a fucking pun?

No, that was a stoner pun. A fucking pun would have been something like “So we make them rock hard?”

cecefredzilla:

snaketeen:

there’s a thin line between word and world

get out

theonlymack99:

a man steals a painting from a museum and puts it in the back of his van

he drives for three miles before he inevitably slows down and gets out, credit card and empty gas container in hand

the police come up and ask him “what are you doing? this is an arrest!”

he looks at them and says

“I need more Monet to buy Degas to make this Van Gogh!”

this is the final straw im leaving tumblr

See you tomorrow

hunewm:

jakegyllenhaalelujah:

bluntedanimehunk:

tarynsullivan:

bluntedanimehunk:

internetlaureate:

bluntedanimehunk:

why do nice girls always go for the assholes i dont even like pegging

No. Just. NO. I am so sick of this bullshit stereotype being both perpetuated AND played out. No. 

um

Someone’s a little sensitive.  I know I was one of those that went for an asshole but don’t attack people when they bring it up.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i peg to differ

assholes

bluntedanimehunk:

hunewm:

bluntedanimehunk:

internetlaureate:

bluntedanimehunk:

why do nice girls always go for the assholes i dont even like pegging

No. Just. NO. I am so sick of this bullshit stereotype being both perpetuated AND played out. No. 

um

Saying nice girls go with the assholes is the biggest stereotype in relationships of all time

uM

the-fandoms-are-cool:

darrynek:

hey kid wanna see a magic trick *reaches behind your ear* ready? *rips your ear off* where’d it go

I’m so mad you didn’t say “where’d it van gogh?”

mollysweasleys:

ambiants:

ambiants:

what do you get when you mix alcohol and literature?

tequila mockingbird

or ernest hemingway

thelilnan:

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE

OKAY

AJAX SOAP

THEIR SLOGAN IS “STRONGER THAN GREASE”

AND I WAS LIKE OKAY YEAH MAKES SENSE FOR A DISH SOAP- WAIT

AJAX WAS A GREEK SOLDIER RENOWNED FOR HIS STRENGTH

AJAX IS STRONGER THAN ALL OF GREECE

corgay:

the-blog-of-anne-frank:

I just realized that “pun intended” is a pun on “unintended” and I’m literally about to gouge my eyes out I’m so angry

oh my fucking god

soundlyawake:

I think Kmart just saved their company with one commercial.

ivegottobethere:

ima-ho-ho-ho:

rneerkat:

snapfox:

rneerkat:

rneerkat:

what happens to nitrogen when the sun rises

it becomes daytrogen

I’m going to bed.

good nitrogen

sleep tightrogen

don’t let the bed bugs bitrogen

If the New York Post headline tomorrow isn’t either

sturmtruppen:

c-d-e:

particleb0red:

pleasedontsqueezetheshaman:

nedhepburn:

• VATICAN? VATICAN’T
  or
• EX BENEDICT

then I will simply not know what to do with myself. 

My money’s still on POPE SAYS NOPE.

VATICANCY.

No Benediction for Benedict.

Benevicted.