And the jackass of the week award goes to…
Hey. Guess what? I heard you last night complaining. All “Woe is me” at Friday Night Magic because no girl will date “The nice guy” and how they “Judge you because you play card games.” Well, after being in close proximity to you for four hours, guess what?
That’s not at all the reason you can’t get a date.
You are a terrible human being. That’s the reason. I mean, for one, your assumption that girls think any less of you for playing Magic? Um, in case you didn’t notice, like half the players last night were female. And I saw some of them kick your sorry ass. And most of the people I talked to wereintroducedinto Magic by females. So yeah. Shut up on that count.
For two? You’re a bad sport. Which is never a good sign for the rest of your personality. You got busted cheating last week, coordinating with someone else to pass eachother certain colors and such in the draft. And what did you do? You whined and complained and talked about how you’re never buying anything from this store again. Well, good riddance, I say. We don’t need you around here.
And finally?
YOU ARE A MISOGYNISTIC ASSHOLE.
I heard you talking. Bragging about your strip club exploits. Whooo, big man, able to spend money to get a look at a girl in her underwear. How ever will I compare to your prowess? Your ability to drag your greasy fat ass to a strip club amazes the masses.
And what did you brag about with it? YOU ABUSED THE FUCKING EMPLOYEES. Laughing and carrying on at top volume about how you’d pay for a lap dance, then shove the girls onto the floor? How you’d flip tables and scare the shit out of them? And don’t think I didn’t hear your little buddy’s response. “They love that abuse shit. Abuse is why they’re there. Once you’ve done that, you’re just like Daddy.”
FUCK. YOU.
I literally see no value you’re bringing to the world. What you could possibly contribute. You’re lucky nobody attacked you then and there. Maybe if you weren’t so smug and clueless, you’d have noticed the death glares every other player was giving you.
If I see you on the street, I’m punching you right then and there.
Stay out of our game shop.
Stay out of our hobby.
And stop giving men and nerds a bad name.
Fuck you, buddy.
Whooo, big man, able to spend money to get a look at a girl in her underwear.
I had to laugh. Some people don’t have to pay money for that.
